Last week’s post was about sinful gossip. Gossip is talking about others in a way that is not healthy. We do that in several ways: When we 1) don’t have someone’s permission to talk about them, 2) they are not present in the conversation, 3) we are preoccupied with spreading the latest news whether it’s true or not, or 4) we spiritualize our desire to gossip as a prayer request. These are the first four of the “Five P’s of Gossip.”

The fifth “P” is what makes talking about others healthy and acceptable. 5) We talk about them to participate in strengthening them and building up of the body of Christ. Usually, when we talk about others in a good way we either have their permission or our intention is to ultimately go to them with questions or concerns, advice and suggestions. When we talk about others, but never have any intention of going to them to resolve an issue or “sharpen iron” (Proverbs 27:17), then it’s not healthy.

If gossiping were an Olympic sport, there are times I would have won gold! Why? We would rather talk about someone rather than participate in the hard work of engaging them. We’d rather take the easy way out than do life together. It is the sinful gossiper who has the gift of yelling “FIRE, FIRE!” about someone not realizing or caring that they are at the same time lighting the match!

At the core of this desire to talk about others in a sinful way is the need to make ourselves look better than we are. Other names for this would be arrogance or pride, which the Bible calls the worst kind of sin. Think about these words from Romans 12:3 – For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

In the near future, when you are tempted to make someone else the focal point of your conversation, ask yourself if you are trying to build them up or if you just intend to tear them down. And remember, that person may not be in the room but God is listening.